Growing up overweight felt a lot like having to wear an ugly sweater, all the time. You know, the itchy, knit ones that your parents or distant aunts would give you for your birthday, or Christmas? It was uncomfortable, displeasing, and far from cool. It was always the wrong shade of brown or yellow, or worse, a tacky Christmas print—yikes. It was completely unflattering, and in all the wrong places. Yet no matter how many times you tried to get rid of it, it somehow always found its way back into your room.
“But your grandma gave that sweater to you.”
“Why don’t you like it? You look great, sweetie.”
“It’s not about what you wear, but how you wear it.”
“It’s not about what you wear, but rather who you are on the inside.”
For a large majority of my childhood and adolescence, I settled on wearing the ‘sweater’ of excess weight. My parents were too kind to ever admit that I was always a little too heavy. I avoided recreational activities because I was self-conscious of my frame and complexion. I always wore dark jeans, even in the middle of summer, because I couldn’t stand the thought of exposing my body. It took me 22 years to build the body confidence to wear a tank top and shorts—22 years.
I spent most of my high school years with my nose in a book, avoiding the weekend social scene. As a college student, I was consumed by studying, extracurriculars, research projects and the thought of my potential career to pay much attention to my size. Again, I settled on wearing the ‘sweater’ because I honestly believed I didn’t have time to worry about my weight. However, as I approached the end of my final year, I came across the largest mirror that proved to me it was time to take the sweater off—my health.
I made a trip to urgent care in November 2013. I had a serious case of the flu, and needed some relief for my symptoms. I stepped on the scale as a kind nurse proceeded to take my vitals; it read 140.5 lbs. I thought, “It’s clearly wrong.” I told the nurse, “Let me take off my hoodie and try again.” I stepped on the scale a second time; 139.5. Now for a girl of my height (or rather lack of) 5’ 1”, that resulted in a BMI classified medically overweight. Oh, and as my physician cautiously added, I was also prediabetic. Yeah, you could say that was a wake-up call.
I knew things had to change. I didn’t just need a body makeover; I needed a life makeover. Many of my days were spent sitting, putting in study sessions that were too often fueled by cookies, candy, and fast food. In my 3.5 years at UCI, I had visited the campus gym a total of 3 times. My version of hydration and nutrition was a venti iced coffee paired with items from the Wendy’s Value Menu©. I was averaging about 4.5 hours of sleep every night, at most. How my body managed to function is beyond me; I felt just as bad as I looked at that time.
So, I made a trip to a department store and bought my first pair of running shoes. In January 2014, without thinking twice, I put on my new shoes and stepped into the gym for the first time in years—and I never looked back.
Slowly, but surely, changes were occurring. I went from working out 3 times a year, to 3 times a week. I began going for evening runs, and lifting weights. To be honest, I didn’t know much about weight training at the time, and quite frankly, I didn’t care. At that point, I was just focusing on getting my body moving. I began researching healthy food choices, and educating myself on the aspects of nutrition; I quickly ditched the Wendy’s© 99¢ nuggets and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers. I started preparing more of my meals at home, learning the strategies of flexible eating. I was getting more sleep, and as a result I stopped ingesting gallons of coffee. I was finally putting my health first, treating my body well, and I felt great.
I began dating my boyfriend, Michael, in the early Spring of 2013. At the time, he was enlisted in the U.S. Navy and stationed as a corpsman with a Marine Corps. battalion. Being in good physical shape was essentially a job requirement for him. Michael was, and still is, a huge motivating factor in my journey. I saw the discipline and dedication he had towards achieving his health and body goals, and that further encouraged me to chase mine. He introduced me to the realm of iron and bodybuilding; he constantly motivates me to dream big, and never lets me believe I can’t do something. I will never be able to thank him enough for allowing me to become the person I have always wanted to be, and for loving me for who I used to be.
Over the course of one year, I changed my entire way of life. I lost a total of 30 lbs. I discovered my passion for cooking and nutrition. I fell in love with exercise, and made it a daily activity. I combined my passions of science and service, and became a certified personal trainer. I have seen my body and confidence transform. I gained strength in ways I could never imagine; I became capable of lifting my own weight, and my spirits. I threw out my baggy hoodies and jeans, because I no longer felt the need to hide my body. The summer of 2014, I crossed off item #8 on my bucket list; I rocked a bikini on the beach. I bought clothes that embodied how I felt, radiant and strong. I sought opportunities to explore, to seek adventure, to live. In one year, I created the life I had always imagined, and strive to improve it everyday. Now, I want to help others create the best versions of themselves.
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